


Hard or Soft

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-06
Updated: 2002-07-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Fried' and the conclusion of the 'Egg series. Lex runs into Clark - literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard or Soft

## Hard or Soft

by Sharon Cross

<http://wordsmiths.net/Crosswords>

* * *

Hard or Soft  
by Sharon Cross 

It took Clark until the next day to feel, almost, his normal self again. Fatigue and some residual weakness still plagued him and he felt confused. Not that confusion was a new state for him and, when Clark thought about it, he couldn't really blame the meteor rock incident for feeling that way. As they had walked out of the forest together, Lex had asked for distance. His one-time lover seemed concerned that Clark's running off into the woods, and unwittingly placing himself in danger, was caused by the intimacy they had shared. Even though Clark knew that Lex was trying to give him time to adjust to his feelings, the request hurt. Clark wanted to get closer, not more distant. 

Once home, his mom had fussed over him to the point of embarrassment. Part of him was glad for her attentive care, even if he hadn't really needed it. It made Clark feel cherished and safe. She had tucked him into bed with about a zillion blankets because he'd mentioned that he had felt chilled. The next morning the sun woke him up. The warmth of sunrays on his eyelids felt so good as they shone through his bedroom window and onto his face. 

Clark had gotten out of bed and had to steady himself against a wall so that he wouldn't fall over. His limbs felt as wobbly as a new-born calf's. The weakness eased. Wearing only a pair of blue cotton, pyjama bottoms, he'd walked outside, blinking up at the clear sky. He felt far too lethargic and not really awake. The play of light on top of a stack of hay bales - already loaded into the back of his dad's truck - looked totally inviting. Maybe he had hit his head harder than he thought when he fell from the cliff? Something inside was pulling at him and it felt right, even if Clark had no idea what his instincts were telling him. Taking a deep breath and blowing it out, he decided to just go with what his body was insisting on. He could only hope it wasn't anything alien-freaky like floating in mid-air. 

Clark pulled himself up onto the back of the pick-up and then onto the top of the bales. He winced at how weak he still felt. It had almost been an effort to climb up, and not for the first time, Clark wondered how normal people could do it. How, everyday, people were faced with such severe limitations. Clark laid himself down, spread himself out on top of the packed, warm hay, and closed his eyes. The sun's heat felt wonderful. He knew he must look silly, lying half-asleep on the bales in the back of the truck, but with every passing moment he felt better and his fatigue melted away. Breathing in the sweet scent of hay, he tried to work through his confusion. 

Lex had saved him from the meteor rock's deadly presence. He had witnessed the extreme worry on his friend's face. Heard it in his voice. Clark knew that Lex cared about him. So why did he want to keep away? Had he scared Lex...or hurt him...that badly? Perhaps he was just not any good at what Lex wanted, or he was being pushed away because Lex Luthor saw him as a kid. Worse, he felt that maybe he'd pushed Lex into doing something he'd normally never do. He `had' come on to him pretty strongly. 

Strong...strength...Clark sucked in a breath. Lex was no match for him physically. Had he forced Lex after all? Had his friend been given any real choice? Clark frowned and went over the event in his mind, every detail. No, Lex had wanted what they shared, even after the `accident' when he'd burned Lex's palm. He vividly remembered a capable hand driving him wild and that sultry voice trying to coax out his secrets but also whispering praise and words of adoration in his ear. In the end all that existed had been Lex's hand, and his voice, and the feel of a hard velvet length tightly pressed against his own - slick, sliding friction, which had broken his control. 

"Son?" 

Clark's eyes flew open and his hand froze from where it had been unconsciously travelling south. He sat up and blinked at his father who was looking concerned and uncomfortable at the same time. Clark felt himself flush with humiliation. The cotton pyjamas did little to conceal his arousal. 

His father cleared his throat and he wasn't looking directly at him; instead Jonathan was focusing on a fence post beside the truck. "I take it you're feeling better?" 

"Uh...yeah...I'm fine." 

"Your mother will be glad to hear it. Better come in and get dressed and have some breakfast." Jonathan gazed at the horizon, where clouds were gathering, and seemed to need something else to say; anything to ease the awkwardness. "There's rain in the forecast. We better get this hay into the barn before then." 

Clark jumped down from the truck and wished he could drill himself right into the ground. Maybe I can, thought Clark, but killed the irrational wish before he tried to act on it. 

Jonathan looked at him and then at the hay bales, shaking his head in bemusement. "I'm not even going to bother asking." 

"Great. Uh...thanks dad." Using his super speed, an embarrassed Clark dashed upstairs to his bedroom, startling his mom as he rushed past her in the kitchen, too fast for the eye to see. 

Later, after eating two large servings of pancakes, eggs, and bacon and all but draining a quart of milk directly from the bottle, Clark announced he was going out for awhile and needed the truck. "I'll drop off the bales first," he promised. 

"Just tell me you're not going to see Lex," stated Jonathan. Clark saw his mom put a restraining hand on his father's arm - ready to play the mediator again. 

"Dad, he was pretty shook up too." Jonathan scowled and looked like he was about to give the `stay away from the big bad Luthors' speech. Clark had heard it enough and spoke before his father had a chance. 

"He saved my life. I know you don't want him to be, but Lex is my best friend. I want to be sure he's okay. Let him know that I'm okay." 

Noting the suddenly overcast conditions, Clark grabbed a rain jacket, more out of habit than needing one. He rarely felt the cold anymore. Before he could walk out of the house, his father laid a hand on his shoulder. 

"Okay, Clark. Go. I guess I just don't get it. Why do you like Lex Luthor so much?" Clark gazed at his father. "Why do you hate him so much?" He saw denial and then guilt on his father's face and didn't wait for an answer. He lowered his eyes as Jonathon stared at him in slight shock and walked out the kitchen door. Clark felt like he'd hit his father below the belt, but Lex didn't deserve the mistrust and animosity that too many people treated him with. Having the most important man in his life treat Lex the same way was disheartening. 

He knew how hard Lex was trying to ditch the dark reputation he'd gained when he lived in Metropolis. He really wanted to fit in and help the people of Smallville. Clark admired his friend and now...he was beginning to feel so much more. It was scary, but if his foolish adventure in the woods had taught him anything, it was that he had to face his emotions. Something Clark knew he wasn't very good at. Hiding what he really was from others as he struggled to grow up, had also taught him to hide from himself. The illusion of normalcy was complete. When the illusion shattered along with Lex Luthor's bed, it was a shock. Before Lex entered his world, he had played the game of being like everyone else for so long that he'd almost believed it. Clark had, at the very least, accepted the disguise enough to protect his psyche from constantly facing the truth. 

Lex had said that he could go to him when he was sure of his feelings, but only after Clark had taken the time to think about what had happened between them. Clark hoped it wasn't meant as a way to blow him off. He had never been confused about what he wanted; he had only been frustrated by Lex's desire for distance and his own fears about being able to keep in control. Then the answer came to him. 

It was Lex that needed the time, Clark realized. He was scared! Clark smiled at that small revelation. He had the power to frighten Lex. The billionaire's son and heir to Luthor Corp was running from a high school kid with the power to break inside that cool, hard exterior and find the soft, vulnerable center. A rush of excitement and nervousness swept over Clark. The knowledge that he could affect Lex so deeply was a guilty thrill. Despite the secrets between them, he trusted Lex with his life and now it was time to show Lex that trust worked both ways. Clark unloaded the bales into the barn and then aimed the truck toward the Luthor estate. Feeling the return of a confidence he had lost since waking up and hovering over Lex's bed. 

Within a few minutes, rain began to splatter against the windshield, and Clark turned on the wipers. He could feel a strong breeze pushing against the truck and glanced up at the sky. It had gotten dark and stormy very quickly. Even from inside the truck, Clark could smell the ozone in the air and predicted that a thunder-storm was inevitable. As if obeying his thoughts, thunder did start to rumble, and the rain pelted down with renewed ferocity. It wasn't long before a constant sheet of water, driven by the wind and the vehicle's speed, made it nearly impossible to see the road. The wipers couldn't keep up with the sudden deluge. Clark slowed down and considered pulling off at the next opportunity. 

A moving shape abruptly appeared. Another vehicle was approaching - fast. The driver was on the wrong side of the road, no headlights, and barrelling toward the pick-up. Clark gasped and only his abnormally fast reflexes prevented a head-on collision. Clark turned the steering wheel sharply to the left. The truck skidded sideways and began to fish-tail out of control. The speeding vehicle clipped a corner of the truck's back bumper and the pick-up spun around a full 360 degrees from the impact. Clark slammed on the brakes and came to an abrupt halt, just in time to see the sports car suspended in mid-air, for a split second, before it landed upside-down with a sickening crunch on the pavement. Sparks flew in every direction as the car skidded on its roof and came to a sudden stop in the ditch. The license plate was all Clark's eyes focused on - LEX1. 

What the hell was Lex thinking? Angry and scared out of his mind, Clark bolted out of the truck, breaking the driver's door in the process, and raced toward the wreckage. If Clark were capable of fainting, he would have done so at the sight of Lex pulling himself out of a destroyed window. Thank god he was alive! A wallop of relief flooded Clark. Lex got shakily to his feet and stared around in confusion, his face finally focusing on Clark. Then Lex started to laugh. "I should have known," he chuckled. "If I want you to show up, all I have to do is get in a car accident." 

Clark narrowed his vision and scanned his friend for injury. Except for being a little banged up from the crash - he was blessedly fine. Relief at knowing Lex was alright was quickly replaced by fear based anger over his recklessness. Clark wanted to slap the smile off Lex's face. This was not funny. 

"Damn it, Lex! You could have been killed! You could have killed someone else!" Clark's angry words were accentuated with a clap of thunder and Lex still looked way too amused for Clark's liking. They were both drenched to the skin and water was dripping into Clark's eyes. It was an effective cover for the tears he knew were running down his face - tears of rage and all-consuming fear. Lex wasn't acting exactly sane. What the hell had happened? 

Lex spread out his arms, his shirt plastered against his lean body. He closed his eyes and smiled. "I doubt that, Clark. I have nothing to fear with you watching over me. You make me invincible." 

Lex opened his mouth to say something else but Clark was suddenly right there and grabbed Lex by the arms. He tightened his grip and the smile fled from Lex's face, to be replaced by a wince of pain, as Clark's powerful hands squeezed. "Stop talking nonsense. Do you want to die?" Lex shook his head - no. His eyes riveted on Clark's furious expression. "Well, you could have fooled me! Next time you feel the need to trash your damn car, do me a favor and leave me out of it." Clark released Lex and turned away, too upset to face his friend. Clark began to make his way back to the truck, shaking with pent up emotion. Lex had lost control and the last time Lex had lost control - Clark had dragged him out of the river. 

"Who loves you, Clark?" 

The words were spoken so softly, barely above a whisper. The thunder, wind, and pouring rain should have made it impossible for Clark to hear the question. But he did. The words stopped him. Clark turned around and looked at Lex. There was no trace of laughter on the smooth, handsome face. Lex's body was trembling slightly, perhaps from the cold rain that buffeted against him, but Clark knew it was more than that. Whatever had motivated Lex to drive like a maniac and risk his life was hidden in that question. Clark's brow furrowed in concern. He approached Lex and didn't like the pain he saw in those blue-gray eyes. "Answer me, damn it. Who loves you?" Again the words were softly whispered but the look on Lex's face was as hard as granite. 

"Lex, I don't know who loves me. Look - you're in shock and you have to get out of this rain. Get into the truck and I'll drive you home." Clark put his hand on Lex's shoulder, to guide him toward the pick-up, but Lex batted his hand away in anger. 

"You don't know?" Lex shook his head in disbelief and glared at Clark. "Your parents love you, Clark. Your friends love you. The old people at the retirement home love you. Everyone you ever helped or smiled at loves you, and one day, the woman who will lay claim to being the love of your life. She's out there Clark, and already in love without knowing it yet. The whole world loves you." 

Clark frowned and again reached out to his friend. Before he knew it, Lex was trapped in his embrace, vibrating with tension and trying to push away. Clark wouldn't let him. Somewhere, deep inside, Lex was wounded and Clark didn't know how to help. "Lex, what is this? What's wrong?" 

"Guess who loves me, Clark? No one." Before Clark could speak, Lex dragged his head down. Cool lips were pressed against his, hungrily kissing him. The thunder was drowned out by the pounding of Clark's heart. It would be so easy to take what he wanted, right now and right here. His body was primed and ready in an instant. Clark was a fast learner, however, and this time he would not lose control. Gently, Clark broke the desperate kiss and whispered in his ear. "That's not true, Lex. You know it isn't." 

Lex snorted in disagreement and rested his forehead on Clark's shoulder. Clark cradled his head with one large hand. "I can fuck anyone I want, Clark. They only cared about the money or the status of getting into my bed. I know that and it has to be enough. It was enough until..." Lex stopped and Clark let him pull away. The rain began to lessen, and the thunder rumbled faintly in the distance. The brief rain storm was passing, but inside Clark, a different storm was building. A storm of overwhelming desire and a need to take away the pain. 

"Until what, Lex?" Clark smiled knowingly. _Come on, Lex - say the words._ Clark silently willed the man to admit his feelings. He didn't want to assume something so important, but the Luthor walls were back in place. Clark's smile widened, breeching walls had never been a problem for him. His grin seemed to alarm Lex. 

"We can't go there, Clark. What happened...it was a mistake." Clark's smile faded. Only yesterday, Lex had seemed open to the possibility of becoming more than friends. What had changed that? 

"Then why in hell did you just kiss me, Lex, if I'm such a big mistake?" Clark was still hard from that kiss. Being angry and aroused at the same time was driving him crazy. Lex just stood there, standing by his words. Body stiff, hands stuffed in wet pockets, his expression unreadable. His entire body language was defensive. Except that Clark could see what was hidden inside and he caught the flash of sorrow in Lex's eyes. Clark had seen this before - when Lex had stood within his father's forced embrace. The click of understanding inside Clark's head was almost audible. 

"What did he do?" 

Lex swallowed hard. "I don't know what you mean." 

Clark ignored the denial. "Tell me, Lex. What happened with your father? You saw him didn't you?" 

Lex bowed his head. The rain had stopped and the sun was fighting to break through the thick storm clouds. "He knows." 

Clark's jaw clenched so hard, he thought he just might have cracked a tooth. "We were seen." It was a simple statement of fact and Clark fought down his fear. 

Lex nodded. "Apparently I didn't pay my servant enough to keep his mouth shut. I denied it but...my father has his suspicions. I got off with a warning." Lex laughed again and there was an edge of hysteria to it that had Clark's internal alarms ringing. What did the bastard do or say this time? "I won't put you in danger, Clark." 

"Don't I have a say in this?" It wasn't Lionel that Clark was afraid of, even if it should be. He was far more worried about Lex ending their friendship and denying what they could give each other. "We can be careful. I can't lose you, Lex." There, he had said it. Lex was staring at him and he had no idea what the look on his face meant. Stunned, was the closest name he could give Lex's expression. 

Lex smiled and there was no happiness in his smile. "Has your father ever kissed you, Clark?" 

What kind of question was that? "Well, sure. When I was younger, he would kiss me goodnight or if I was sad about something. Sometimes when he was proud of me." 

"My father never did that. Once when I was twelve, and just learning to fence, I couldn't keep my guard up and my father kissed me. Not with his mouth, with his sword. He pulled off my head gear and started telling me how I could never lower my defences. Not in fencing and not in life. I barely felt the tip of his sword flick across my lip but I'll never forget the taste of blood in my mouth." 

Clark felt ill and stared at the small scar that blemished Lex's upper lip. He'd sometimes wondered about it but never would have guessed that such an insignificant mark hid so much pain. 

"My father's kisses leave scars, Clark. His version of love can be destructive. He's what I had to learn from and its better that I don't get too close to those I care about. Some of us are meant to be alone. I'll always value your friendship, Clark. Never doubt that." 

"I don't doubt our friendship, Lex. I won't ask you to give me something you can't. But as a friend, I want you to let me do something...just once. I promise I won't ask again, unless you want me to." 

Clark held his breath, as suspicious gray eyes scanned his face. The sun had broken through and rays of light danced between them. The wind had turned into a gentle breeze, carrying the scent of damp earth and grass, the sweet scent of life. Clark knew exactly how to help Lex. It was a risk, but he wanted it so badly. He knew that Lex did too - he just didn't know it yet. 

"Yes or no, Lex. Do you trust me?" 

"I trust you with my life. I can't give you more than that. What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" 

Clark smiled and held out his hand. "I want you to let me love you. Really love you. Trust me with your life, for just one hour. After that, unless you ask...we only stay friends." 

Lex's jaw dropped open. "Haven't you been listening to anything I've been saying?" 

Clark rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Lex, I have. You're trying to protect me against your father by pushing me away. You want someone to love you for just you but don't think you deserve it. Give me the chance to prove you're wrong. Trust me for one hour." 

Lex backed away further, shaking his head and hugging himself tight. "No way. It's not a good idea." 

"I'm asking for one hour, Lex, not a lifetime commitment. If you really don't want this, fine. But you'll have to look me in the eye and tell me." Clark knew he couldn't do it. Holding Lex against him in the rain, allowing the hungry kisses, had exposed the need in his friend's slender frame. Lex was starved for love and love was something Clark had in abundance. 

* * *

"Why do I feel sixteen years old?" groused Lex. Clark just smiled at him as he put the finishing touches to the makeshift bed. "I have to call someone about the car." Lex pulled out his cell phone and scowled at its refusal to work. Water had gotten inside of it and rendered it useless. "I won't even ask if there's a phone out here." Clark chuckled. Lex was covering it up, but he was nervous. A nervous Lex made Clark feel less nervous himself. Clark lit three gas lamps and placed them around the shed. The light cast soft shadows against the old wood walls. The thick foam pad that Clark had placed in here was a perfectly comfortable bed when the blankets, stored in the truck, were arranged on it. Satisfied that everything was ready, Clark faced his skittish lover. 

"The hour starts now, Lex." 

Lex raised his eyebrows. "You're determined to go through with this aren't you?" Clark gave him a warm smile and pulled him into a hug. They had already dried off as much as possible with one of the blankets. Clark's hair was still damp and he tingled all over when Lex ran his fingers through the thick mop. "I love your hair. Don't ever lose it, Clark." 

"Never gonna happen," promised Clark. "Let's get out of these wet clothes." 

Lex broke the hug and looked around the small shed. "You really expect me to strip down in this shed in the middle of your father's field?" 

"Yep," replied Clark and shrugged off his shirt, pulled the t-shirt over his head and grinned at the look on Lex's face as his upper body was exposed. 

Lex sighed and looked heavenward for a moment. "I cannot believe that I'm going to do this." A minute later they were both nude and surveying each other in appreciation. Lex looked so much smaller without clothes on, Clark decided. Despite the fading bruises, Lex was beautiful. The rich life that everyone assumed Lex indulged in was not evident in his body. He was wiry, covered with lean muscle, totally hairless and smooth. Clark felt the blood rush and fill his cock. Lex chuckled, "Careful where you aim that thing, Clark." 

"Smart ass," replied Clark. That Lex wasn't even aroused was a cause for concern. Clark pulled him close and felt how cold his skin was. Damn, Lex was half frozen. Clark hadn't considered how much the drenching rain must have chilled him. "You're freezing, Lex." Clark grabbed one of the thick blankets and wrapped it around him, rubbing his arms and back. Like he had at the crash site, Lex lifted his face and began to kiss Clark. When the kiss ended, Lex was lying on the improvised bed, with Clark kneeling over him. 

"One hour could destroy me, Clark." Lex's eyes were closed, perhaps to hide his fear. 

"I have no intention of destroying you," whispered Clark, and parted the blanket that was wrapped around his lover. Just to be sure, Clark scanned Lex's body again for any damage caused by the car crash. Thankfully, there was still nothing. His hand caressed the soft bare pubic mound, and smiled when his touch finally got a response from Lex. Groaning, Lex tilted his head back and clenched his fists in the blankets. Careful to keep it slow, Clark's hand enveloped Lex's growing erection and gently pumped it. Soon Lex was setting his own rhythm, and with a strangled cry, spilled his seed across Clark's hand and his own belly. 

Shuddering with pleasure, Lex grabbed Clark and pulled him down. They plundered each other's mouths and Clark could feel his erection slipping and sliding through the mess on Lex's abdomen. It felt better than wonderful. Lex melted under him and Clark wanted to whoop with victory. Instead he humped Lex and let his cock randomly thrust against him: along his hip, along his softening erection, between his legs. 

Clark wasn't sure how it happened or, more accurately, he didn't know it would happen so easily. He sort of...just stumbled in. Lex let out a pained hiss of surprise and completely tensed up. Clark froze, his eyes wide with disbelief. He was inside Lex! 

His first instinct was to pull out, but Clark doubted that he could without badly hurting Lex. Internal muscles were clenched tightly around him. Clark didn't dare move and was close to panicking. From the sound of the frantic breaths escaping from Lex, he guessed that Lex was close to losing it too. There wasn't a thing he could do until his lover relaxed. 

"Lex? Try and relax so I can pull out." His words caused Lex to open his eyes and stare at him. "Why do you want to stop?" Clark blinked in surprise. Lex wanted this? 

"Because I'm hurting you!" That made Lex smile and he squirmed under Clark which sent waves of sensation shooting up Clark's cock. A virtual neon sign flashed in front of his eyes which demanded that he thrust deeper. Clark fought against the urge and was dismayed at the grunt of pain from Lex. 

"Sex is pain and pleasure, Clark, all wrapped up together until you can't tell the difference anymore." 

Clark found that hard to believe but then he wasn't in Lex's position. "You've done this before?" 

"Not exactly." 

"I think this is a yes or no kind of thing, Lex." His perplexing lover only chuckled and Clark felt that chuckle reverberate deep inside him and cause all kinds of havoc. Shuddering from effort, Clark forced himself to stay still as his orgasm took over. It was too much, and he collapsed on top of Lex, who caressed him through the after shocks. "Kids...no stamina." Lex gently teased. He soon grew more serious. 

"This isn't safe, Clark. This is new for you, but, even though I've always used protection before, I couldn't live with myself if you got sick." 

Clark grinned. "You can't make me sick, Lex. It's not possible. Just trust me, okay?" 

"Are you telling me that this is another one of those secrets?" Clark stayed silent, knowing it was all the confirmation that Lex needed. Lex claimed his mouth in another kiss and the world stood still. Wrapped in Lex's heat, Clark was soon ready again and so was Lex. Clark's earlier release, eased the way, and Clark gave in to his instincts. He pushed all the way in and Lex shook and moaned beneath him. Lex's heartbeat thundered inside him and Clark knew, at that moment, he was in love. He wanted to shout for joy and cry at the same time. Loving Lex Luthor was asking for trouble. Out of everything they shared, honesty wasn't possible. This hour might be all they could ever have as lovers. It would be worth it if Lex understood that he could be loved. It might be the single most important thing he could ever give his friend. 

* * *

With infinite care, Clark shattered Lex's defenses in that hour. Stripped away the layers of control and touched places Lex had never allowed anyone to touch before. Clark cradled Lex with his strength and gave him a safe harbour to break apart in. A place to lose control without fear of getting hurt. Each kiss, each hushed word, each caress, exposed a little more. As Lex cried out in pained pleasure and surrendered to Clark, Clark had never felt more powerful. All the confused emotions and unsure feelings seemed to disappear. The face of inexperienced youth was replaced by a potent man who knew exactly what he wanted and what he was doing. Clark was perched on the edge of control while gently forcing Lex to fall over the precipice. If Clark got carried away, he knew the consequences would be far more than a burned hand. His love could kill but it could also heal. He understood that now, as Lex held on and moaned his pleasure, moving with each carefully timed thrust and begging for more. Lex fell apart in his arms and Clark soothed him with kisses and words until Lex seemed to realize that he hadn't been destroyed after all. Only loved. Clark smiled. It was a start. 

The End 


End file.
